1. Does anyone find it a bit suspicious that Ben Affleck has a movie coming out about foreign embassy attacks? 2. Lindsay Lohan is being accused in a hit and run accident with a pedestrian in New York City. You're move Amanda Bynes! 3. This whole thing about Jesus having a wife can't possible be true. No wife would ever let their husband hang out with his boys that long. 4. If Weight Watchers really works, why won't they show Jessica Simpson from the neck down in their ads? 1. Infamous NFL team owner Art Modell has passed away. His body will be buried in Cleveland. And then it will be abruptly moved to Baltimore. 2. The MTV VMA Awards will air tonight at the same time the president is expected to address the DNC. This scheduling was done on purpose to avoid Kanye West rushing up on stage and interrupting Barack Obama. 3. Bill Clinton is so smooth that at one point during his speech at the DNC last night, he put the moves on Michelle Obama - and no one noticed! 4. Retired NBC news anchor Tom Brokaw was brought to the hospital this morning after feeling light-headed. I think we all felt that way this morning after Bill Clinton's speech last night! 1. A Massachusetts prison will be paying for an inmate to have a sex change operation. I guess dropping the soap in the showers just wasn't good enough for this guy. 2. A strip club in Albany is arguing that they shouldn't have to pay taxes because lap-dances should be considered an art-form. City Hall hasn't made a decision yet. Officials are too busy taking in the 'arts'. 3. Rhode Island governor Lincoln Chafee spoke at the Democratic National Convention last night to an enthusiastic crowd of delegates. His son Caleb was back home speaking at a keg party to a rowdy crowd of kids doing beer bongs. 4. After watching Michelle Obama speaking at the Democratic Convention last night I realized one thing. Paul Ryan is not the only person in Washington D.C. using the P90X program. 1. Michael Strahan officially started as the new co-host of Live with Kelly Ripa today. Not to be out done, Regis will debut at his new job this weekend as defensive end for the New York Giants. 2. Suzanne Barr, a senior government official for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, has resigned due to sexual harassment charges for allegedly offering co-workers oral sex while on a business trip. However she was immediately hired by Bill Clinton the next day. 3. In an effort to win over the female voters, the Democratic National Convention will feature speeches by George Clooney, Johnny Depp, and Brad Pitt reading chapters from 50 Shades of Grey. 4. 91-year old Prince Philip accidentally flashed his junk at a crowd while wearing a kilt at a recent function. Apparently all the royals enjoy displaying their family jewels to the public. |
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September 2013
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