1. In celebration of Friday the 13th, I will lopping off the head of every 13th person I see.

2. If Nike ever decides to make a Tim Tebow sneaker, do you think it will be a sandal?

3. If Mitt Romney is elected president, he will probably end up doing to our country what his dog did to his car roof.

4. Casey Anthony's lawyer has quit representing her. I wonder if that means he's not letting her baby sit his kids anymore!

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