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1. The Boston Red Sox have reported hired Bobby Valentine as their new manager. He'll receive a 1 year contract and unlimited chicken and beer.

2. With all the accusations of sexual harassment and infidelity, Hermain Cain is reassessing his run for presidency. His wife should be reassessing her run as Mrs. Cain.

3. Dr. Conrad has been sentenced to serve 4 years in Los Angeles Country Jail. At least Lindsay Lohan knows she'll sleep well the next time she gets locked up.

4. Charlie Sheen was spotted in Columbia this week. He claims he's researching a new movie. I say he's picking up a few kilos of 'tiger blood'.




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