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1. Congress returns to session today after the holiday break. They are all anxious to get back to work accomplishing nothing!

2. Lebron James got engaged to his high-school sweetheart over the holiday. At least one of them finally got a ring!

3. 
A man in China recently spent $16,000 in real money for a virtual sword to use in a video game. It will go nicely with his clock of vagina resistance!

4. 
Actress Salma Hayek was knighted in France over the weekend. Where are they going to find a suit of armor in size DD?!




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