1. So for 4 years, while I had a 401k the stock market was a friggen mess. 2 weeks after I get laid off, it sets new record highs! Is this what you're telling me?

2. Hey New York, I just wanted to point out that Lyndsey Lohan was the first one to bring us Lynsanity! Okay?

3. Actually I have this special brush that takes away all my Lent.

4. Jessica Simpson is going to be judging a Fashion Reality TV show. Bringing mom-jeans back to the runway!

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