1. Phillip Phillips won American Idol. Wasn't that the name of the little cartoon mascot for the light bulb company?

2. The man who invented the remote control died. I gave him a 3 mute salute tonight. Now that he's gone, we'll never know how to open up that damn battery compartment without breaking it!

3. The Red Sox and Yankees are in last place in the American League East! Maybe those Mayans are on to something...

4. Would someone buy Miley Cyrus a damn bra! You can take the girl out of redneck country but you can't take the redneck out of the girl.

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