2. Suzanne Barr, a senior government official for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, has resigned due to sexual harassment charges for allegedly offering co-workers oral sex while on a business trip. However she was immediately hired by Bill Clinton the next day.
3. In an effort to win over the female voters, the Democratic National Convention will feature speeches by George Clooney, Johnny Depp, and Brad Pitt reading chapters from 50 Shades of Grey.
4. 91-year old Prince Philip accidentally flashed his junk at a crowd while wearing a kilt at a recent function. Apparently all the royals enjoy displaying their family jewels to the public.