1. Does Whitney Cummings have to be half naked and talk about sex in all her TV promos? We get it. Your last name has 'cum' in it!

2. I think it should be mandatory for all mothers to dress their newborns in either pink or blue, accordingly, so I don't sound like a jackass saying 'What's his name?'.

3. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally going to get married. I've always hoped these two would settle down and start a family!

4. Why don't we just tax Oprah? That would solve our deficit problem!

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