1. Want to make $100 million dollars? Abuse and slaughter dogs in a dog fighting ring, and then play football for the Philadelphia Eagles.

2. Hurricane Irene is the biggest disaster suffered during President Obama's presidency, unless you count his presidency.

3. Congress is considering giving themselves a raise. Hey, wait, I thought we were already spending too much money. Time to make drastic cuts, remember???

4. Former Skid Row lead singer, Sebastian Bach's home was destroyed by Hurricane Irene. But I hear Jani Lane's home is available.

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