1. Lindsey Lohan, while under house arrest, was caught partying and drinking. But her worst crime was blowing off Matt Lauer. Back to jail!

2. Lindsey's house arrest parties are already legendary. Every time her ankle monitor beeps, you have to drink!

3. Whitey Bulger finally captured! I predict a 'Departed 2'... oh wait... never mind.

4. A Southwest Airline pilot, on an open mic, was heard making fun of gay, fat, and old flight attendants. When did Tracy Morgan become a pilot?

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