1. Actor Shia Lebeouf was beat up by a club goer outside a nightclub in Vancouver this weekend. Unfortunately his car did not turn into a robot to save him.

2. An Apple employee kicked The Situation out of his store for attempting to cut ahead of customers in line for the new iPhone 4S. This man should be promoted!

3. Israel traded 1027 Palestinian prisoners for 1 Israeli soldier this week. When did Theo Epstein start managing Israel?

4. A computer hacker attacked the Sesame Street YouTube Channel replacing the usual muppet videos with pronographic videos. Children are now asking parents what Grover was doing with that giant snake.

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