1. Republican candidate Herman Cain has been accused of sexually harassing a former employee. I guess that explains that guy smoking in his campaign ad.

2. President Obama passed his annual bill of health yesterday. But the Republican Congress will never let it pass.

3. 72-days after her $15 million dollar televised wedding, Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce. And people say the gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage.

4. Kim Kardashian isn't divorcing Kris Humpries, she's just trading him for a husband to be named later.

5. With the NBA currently on strike, Kim Kardashian should have no problem finding herself a new husband in time for February sweeps!

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