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1. Happy Fat Tuesday, or as Chris Christie calls it - Tuesday.

2. Some guys will save money by shopping for flowers the day before Valentine's Day. This year I'm saving by not shopping at all!

3. I think the Pope should have gone on a farewell tour like Cher did. He would have sold out so many shows in Vegas!

4. The Olympic Committee has decided to take wrestling out of the Olympics:
a. What are female Russian athletes going to do now?
b. So I guess that makes men's syncronized swimming the gayest Olympic event now.
c. The Rock responded to this news by saying, "You can take those gold medals, shine them up real nice, turn them sideways, and stick them up your candy asses!"