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1. Holly Madison has taken out a 1 million dollar insurance policy on her breasts. Unfortunately it was hurricane insurance.

2. Kobe Bryant will be going to Italy to play professional basketball this year. I think that's the least we can do for that country after sending the Jersey Shore cast there.

3. Rumor has it that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher may be heading for divorce. He was getting a little too old for her anyway.

4. I understand why the Boston Red Sox are firing manager Terry Francona, but I'm not sure replacing him with Ashton Kutcher is going to work out...

 
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1. Rock band Guns 'N Roses will be inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame on April 14th. Axl Rose will probably show up for the ceremony sometime on April 15th.

2. Tom Brady cut off his long hair yesterday. Maybe he'll have an easier time seeing which team he's throwing the ball to this weekend!

3. Drivers licenses, in-state college tuition; whatever happened to good old fashioned deportation of illegal immigrants?

4. You know that feeling you get when someone accidentally kicks you in the balls, but they don't really get your balls, they just sort of graze them, but it's enough to give you that painful cramp feeling deep down inside your gut? That's how the Red Sox made me feel last night!

 
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Police in North Carolina said a couple's first date was interrupted when a man accidentally shot himself in a parking garage.

Charlotte police said the couple returned to the man's car after eating Tuesday at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Fairview Road and the man's gun, which was in the car, somehow went off and shot the man, The Charlotte Observer reported Wednesday.

His date was not injured and he was treated at Carolinas Medical Center for a non-life-threatening leg wound.


 
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1. After 33 years on 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney is retiring. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Andy Rooney is still alive?"

2. A woman in NYC was outraged when she received her Starbucks coffee and found the word 'Bitch' written on it. At least they finally got someone's order right.

3. Republicans are hoping Chris Christie will jump into the 2012 presidential race. Careful, the last time he jumped into something the east coast suffered a 5.8 magnitude earthquake!

4. Chaz Bono survived another cut on Dancing With The Stars. That brings his total to three is you count the sex change operation.

 
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A woman was taken to the hospital Monday with serious but non-life-threatening injuries after a toilet exploded in a federal government building in Washington. Employees in the GSA regional office were sent a memo warning them to not use the restrooms, WUSA reported.

"DO NOT flush toilets or use any domestic water," WUSA quoted the memo as saying. "Due to a mechanical failure, there is high air pressure in the domestic water system that resulted in damage to toilets. The engineering staff is working to correct the issue.


 
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As the resident watchwoman of the Cook County Forest Preserve in Chicagoland, USA, Cynthia Wojtanowski was supposed to make sure that nobody ever used forest lands to grow marijuana. The County's definition of "nobody" included "Cook County Forest Preserve watchwomen named Cynthia Wojtanowski."

Seems that Wojtanowski's superiors didn't inform her of this fact, however, because this week law enforcement busted her and her live-in boyfriend for allegedly growing weed on the property surrounding their forest preserve-owned house. A concerned citizen tattled on Wojtanowski and kickstarted an investigation.


 
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1. The inventor of Dorito's passed away. He'll be buried in a ranch flavored, triangle casket.

2. Leisha Hailey, star of 'The L Word', was kicked off a Southwest Air flight for making out with her lesbian girlfriend. At least she wasn't too fat to actually get a ticket.

3. Nancy Grace says she keeps lucky charms in her bra while competing on Dancing With The Star. Not so lucky for the charms....

4. John Lackey has reportedly filed for divorce from his wife of 3 years. I wish the Red Sox would divorce him too!

 
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A 91-year-old man got so fed up with the young kids in his Pennsylvania neighbourhood, he threw a bucket of urine on his footpath in a bid to keep them away.

Albert Einsig was angry that teenagers were hanging out on his porch so decided to throw the bodily discharge near them in the hope they would stop their late-night rowdiness.

"They bang on the door and get me out of bed," he told WHP CBS-21.

"They have been at me so bad, I don't know which way I'm going."

Police gave Mr Einsig a citation for the "voiding of human excretion" after a neighbour saw him throw the urine.

Neighbours claim Mr Einsig is overly aggressive and also taking his anger out on the wrong kids.

According to resident Jamie Green, teenagers from a nearby neighbourhood come to taunt Mr Einsig in the hope he will then retaliate against the teens who live around him.

"He comes out swinging canes, screaming at the kids calling them little bastards and everything else.," said neighbour Jamie Green.


 
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1. The Buffalo Bills are in first place. The Lion King is the top movie. When did it become 1995 again?

2. The king of Saudia Arabia has made it legal for women to run for office in that country. Sarah Palin has already started a bus tour from Sakakah to Riyadah.

3. Republican Herman Cain won a straw poll in Florida this weekend. Not sure Floridians had the right idea though. Papa John finished 2nd with The Noid a close 3rd.

4. Rihanna was photographed in church wearing a necklace with the c-word on it. I'm surprised she still wears her presents from Chris Brown.

 
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A Peru bar in Lima, adds frogs to their juice. Actually, it's a fresh juice bar and the owner says frog juice restores vigor and keeps a body strong. And that's not all. In fact, they call it 'The Peruvian Viagra' and they say it's great for you if you have a low sex drive. It is a great aphrodisiac.

'Extracto de rana' (Frog juice) is in very high demand at local markets of Lima, Peru. The main aphrodisiac effect is due to one of it's ingredients called Maca, a South-American plant known for it's erotic powers. It also heals stuff like asthma, bronchitis, and sluggishness.



Video of how the juice is made, below.