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We all love our animals and want to keep them happy. And since it's hard for them to roll a joint, a Seattle company is developing a medical marijuana patch for pets. Seriously.

Jim Alekson's Medical Marijuana Delivery Systems LLC has patented a patch called Tetracan that he says could be used on dogs, cats, even horses.

But why would a dog need medical marijuana?  "Because dogs suffer from the same maladies that humans do. It's a question of quality of life," said Alekson.

While the patch does conjur visions of pups frolicking in fields of poppies, Alekson says pets suffer greatly from pain—everything from arthritis to cancer. He points to pharmaceutical painkillers that have proven harmful, sometimes fatal in animals.

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1. Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles heel chasing a thief from his hotel room. 
Can I have 'Old Guys Shouldn't Run' for $1000 please?

2. President Obama and Congress are still having trouble figuring out our debt situation. 

Isn't it about time they called Suze Orman!

3. A city worker in Providence claims he spotted an alligator in the Woonasquatucket River.

 I say it's a croc! (screw you that's funny shit!)


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REUTERS - A 63-year-old American man with a hernia plunged a butter knife into his abdomen to try to fix the problem, and later put a lit cigarette in the wound, according to police.

Police found the man lying naked on the porch of his apartment in the Los Angeles suburb of Glendale in California Sunday night after his wife called to report his attempt at surgery, Glendale police spokesman Sergeant Tom Lorenz said.

"He actually impaled himself with the butter knife," Lorenz said. "He told his wife he was frustrated with this hernia, and he didn't want to wait any longer for the medical procedure."

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WABC - A 70-year old grandmother from New Hampshire fought off a home invader with a baseball bat.

Police say a man broke into her home in Manchester Sunday morning, took off his clothes and started making a sandwich.

With her family asleep upstairs, the grandmother bravely confronted him and asked him to leave. When he refused, she let her bat do the talking, beating him until he grabbed his clothes and ran out the door.



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1. How come when a Muslim murders people he's a terrorist, but when a non-Muslim does it he's a madman?

2. McDonald's is creating healthier Happy Meals by including apple slices. I hope they taste like french fries when you dip them in ketchup.

3. To save money, the post office is closing branches and making cut-backs. I hear they're going back to ponies soon.

4. Does anyone ever use the 'FAN' setting on their air conditioner?


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Ghost Theory - In this strange story, an 80 year old man from South Africa suffered an asthma attack that left him dead. At least that’s what everyone thought.

After not being able to revive the man, his family had placed a phone call to an undertaker so that they could handle his body. Upon arrival at their home, the trained driver checked the man for a pulse, looked for a heartbeat –I guess he looked for it on the man’s carotid artery on his neck — The driver finished examining the body and took it to the local morgue. There the body stayed locked away in a large refrigerated compartment for the next 21 hours.

During a routine shift at the morgue, a few employees heard screams and banging coming from the locked compartment where the recently deceased lay. It doesn’t take much imagination to visualize the terror the employees must have felt when they heard the screams coming from behind the refrigerated door.



 
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1. Despite the discovery of a 4th orbiting moon, astronomers still say Pluto is too small to be called a planet. Yet people have no problem calling Tom Cruise an actor.

2. Football season is back! Game On! Sorry Ladies...

3. Lindsay Lohan went on a drinking binge after hearing of Amy Winehouse's death. By the way, she turns 27 in 2013. Plan accordingly.





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Click this link: http://www.gofobo.com/rsvp/promotion/7092e0265dff88ecb61120e58dd22d89
Open an account, and print out your free passes for an advanced screening of '30 Minutes or Less'

I use this website all the time. Completely trustworthy and free. Just show up to the movie early. They give out more passes than they have seats.


If you go to the movie, come back here later and give me a review on what you thought.

 
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1. Is the heatwave over yet? I've been sweating like Sarah Palin taking a history exam!

2. Antiques Road Show recently had it's highest appraisal ever for a 17th Century set of Chinese Rhino horn carved tea cups, valued at up to $1.5 million dollars. It was sad when the owner tripped on the way out, shattering the whole set.

3. People were sad for the loss of Amy Winehouse this weekend. I'm sad for the drug dealers. Especially in this economy.

 4. New York State held it's first same-sex marriage ceremonies over the weekend. There were more lesbians in attendance than an Indigo Girls concert!

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MSNBC - A Southern California motorcyclist rear-ended a minivan and was thrown through a window into the back seat but escaped unscathed, police said.

After the incident on Thursday, the driver of the minivan continued driving and pulled into his own driveway nearby, unaware that he had a new backseat passenger,the Victorville Daily Press reported.

"We're calling this one a non-injury collision with a twist," Karen Hunt, spokeswoman for the Victorville Police Department, told the newspaper

Facebook: TomStewartRI  Twitter: @WhatTomThinks