1. The reunited Van Halen announced that Kool & The Gang will be the opening act on their upcoming concert tour. In related news, scientists have moved the Doomsday Clock one minute closer to midnight. Coincidence?

2. Kim Kardashian is being replaced by a dog in a commercial planned for the Super Bowl. They're more loyal and make less messes on the floor.

3. Lindsay Lohan got a new tattoo on her wrist this week. She should have gotten it on her leg so she could cover it up with ankle monitor.

4. The Hostess Company is filing for bankruptcy this week. That makes the 4 year old Twinkees in our vending machine collector's items now!!!

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