1. A Navy Seal tell-all book says that Osama Bin Laden was unarmed when he was killed in Pakistan. However he was watching Jersey Shore and eating Funyuns, so justice served.

2. I'm not sure who's blowing out more hot air on the Gulf Coast this week, Hurricane Issac or the speakers at the GOP Convention.

3. Today is Michael Jackson's birthday! Let's all do a crotch-grab in his honor. (Your own crotch Sandusky!)

4. The Mars rover transmitted a song by Will.i.am yesterday making it the first song ever broadcast on the red planet. It was one small step for man, one giant leap for gettin' this party started!

5. Its refreshing to see George W. Bush being just as pro-active this time, as he was last time a hurricane hit New Orleans.

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